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Fear in men

Writer's picture: Wesley TerriereWesley Terriere

1/ Fear of ignorance

One of the basic fears I encounter within men is the fear of not knowing. It is likely to be engraved in their soul. A fundamental and primitive fright to be ignorant, insufficient or inadequate.


A lot of men are not even aware of it but when you are training a group of them there's this ever present and imminent fear on the background when I'm elaborating on a technique, giving them tips for improvement on a movement, or explaining an exercise. Than there's this sense of awkwardness creeping up their face, a retaining of there energy and changing body language. As if someone discovered that they too have a shadow.


One of the reactions on this phenomenon of ignorance, is the immediate reflex of comparing themselves to their surrounding peers. As it's somehow an reflexively impulse that exists between men. Hence the the switch to the most prominent of all masculine characteristics, "challenging themselves to go or prove themselves" as a compensation for their inner awkward feeling.


It might as well be that it is linked to a certain inferiority. The fact of not knowing seems to trigger immediately the aspect of being lesser that another man. As this issue (behavior) is completely innocent and useless in its nature as a man finds confidence through challenges and tackling the unknown. That is the way he's improving himself and thus his feeling of inferiority doesn't really help him here. He should more consider it as an excitement to learn, facing the new as a means to become a better version of himself.


What I'm elaborating about is not just a superficial fear in men. It seems to have a reoccurring pattern that consists over the years without disappearing. So it must be of a deeper level. The challenge to improve himself might help him to jump over it and gain some confidence over the skills but it keeps on popping up in later stage in his life.


The real core of this fear is nested in the confidence in himself. Learning a new skill is not really the problem. A skill is a skill. It relies more in the way and how he's facing the new skill. That brings it back to himself and his possibilities and confidence in those.


The core of the issue relies thus in the contact, or better, the failing contact, the disconnection with his source. With this entity in himself that gives him the power to face whatever in life. And at that very point, learning a skill, new or not, becomes insignificant. The connection with his source drives a men through anything in life. That alone makes him very man.

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